When I was a child I had the bedroom of dreams, with a balcony off the bedroom that was all mine. I spent a lot of time out there feeling like a princess, staring at the treetops and feeling the warmth of the sun.
I also spent time going over the wall of the balcony to sit on the ledge that was on the outside that skirted the entire bedroom. Sitting on the edge, dangling my legs was dangerous, even more, dangerous was walking along the ledge which was about a foot wide to the front of the house and sitting there. My poor mother said she used to come home to children sitting on the house instead of inside the house. Most dangerous was sneaking out at night in high school from the balcony–but that’s a whole other story.
Last night I dreamt I moved from a room full of people whose company I was enjoying to a ledge outside the room where many people were sitting facing outwards. I found myself asking to pass them, much the way you do when entering a row of theatre seats and everyone has to shift to let you go by.
I then found myself around the corner and now I was actually climbing the building horizontally, one handhold and foothold at a time. Terrified by determined to stay steady. As I was heading back to the relative safety of the ledge, I looked down–always a mistake! It was too far to fall or jump, but I realized I didn’t have to go back, I could just as easily go down, one handhold at a time. Focused, trusting.
I soon found myself on solid ground, confident and calm knowing I made the right decision. And then I woke up.
Reflecting on this very powerful dream I realize it is a metaphor for the past two years of my life. I stepped out on a ledge and walked away from safety, security, comfort and began a journey one handhold at a time having no idea if I would be successful or where I would land.
Two years later, I find myself in a new community, with multiple consulting projects, a part-time job offer, new friends and a much more active life. I’ve landed and am calm and confident that I made the right decisions.
All that said, I’m never, ever going to try rock climbing! But I would take these chances again, and I would highly encourage others who are wanting to step off the ledge to do it and build your wings and your courage on the way down. There will always be hands to hold, including mine.